An Alternative Gunpowder Plot…

Remember, Remember the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
I see no reason
the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Freedom! Forever!

Ladies and Gentleman, I would like to introduce Belle Killer Sambora Humphreys. She is a dog, and she is afraid of fireworks.


Fireworks make me scaaaaared!

Now, Belle is just too cute to scare, so every year I do the decent thing and pass on the f-word, and try to distract her. This is a common dilemma – lots of you have pets who are not down with aerial explosions – they can’t see in colour and so cannot see the point. So! A festive alternative to celebrate that won’t give our four-legged friends a heart attack. I propose a movie night…



Once upon a time, in 1605 to be precise, some rowdy catholics were plotting to blow up the houses of Parliament on the day that King James would be present to open it. After a catholic MP due to be present was warned to stay away in a letter, King James was notified and ordered a search of the cellars of the houses of Parliament, and several thousand pounds of explosives were discovered. Guy Fawkes was arrested that same night – not the leader of the plot, but in the cellars at the wrong time. Summarily executed with his fellow restorationists, all those MPs survived the night to claime for ye olde duck islandes on thy formes of expense.


Peg it, Guido!

Right – potted history lesson over, but tis important. Every November 5th, Brits celebrate the foiling of the Gunpowder plot with fireworks and the burning of a “guy” on a bonfire – old Guido Fawkes here.  I see no reason the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot, but the whole burning-of-the-guy thing just makes you look like a lynch mob. And setting off cardboard tubes of gunpowder to celebrate the fact that huge amounts of gunpowder were PREVENTED from being set off 400-odd years ago also seems a little backward to me…


Everyone loves a rebel

There hasn’t really been a decent film adap of the Gunpowder Plot, despite its obviously exploitable parallels with modern fears of terrorism. V for Vendetta, however, is the perfect modern Gunpowder tale. Never forget – one man’s terrorist is another’s Freedom fighter…

So, if the idea of burning a human effigy (in all liklihood made by schoolchildren) on a massive pyre makes you uncomfortable – lord knows it upsets my delicate sensibilities – get the popcorn in and watch some Vendetta. It’s the Matrix meets 1984, and it’s the film that proved that Natalie Portman is still hot when she’s bald.


So pretty I hate her a little...

 Save the dogs and cats of Britain a night of stress, and watch a damn good DVD instead. Freedom! Forever!

One response to “An Alternative Gunpowder Plot…

  1. I remember our dog’s first fireworks, when she began shaking out of control and wet our parent’s bed. Priceless.

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